for jayden!

little baby, in my arms.
how lucky you are!
to wake up and be held - warm and safe.
put on your socks, tickle your tummy, get ready for the day.
you're so beautiful,
innocent and young.
the whole world is new to you,
you know of no hate. you only know what is true :
and that is, how much everyone loves you.

and your eyes.
round brown eyes,
long lashes.

and your dimples.
the way you scrunch up your face in laughter.
the way the world and everything in it fascinates you.

my nephew.
i love you, little one.

no need to say goodbye

i'll come back when you call me, no need to say goodbye.
just because everything is changing doesn't mean it's never been this way before.
all you can do is try to know who your friends are as you head off to the war.
pick a star on the dark horizon & follow the light.
you'll come back when it's over, no need to say goodbye.
you'll come back when it's over, no need to say goodbye.







let your memories grow stronger and stronger, until they're before your eyes.
you'll come back when they call you.

no need to say goodbye.






credit : regina spektor, "the call"

again

and again, and again, and again!

life on repeat.


press the shuffle button. i need something new.

grocery list!

my grocery list :

1 cucumber
lettuce
cheese
beans
apples
2 lemons
carrots
5 tomatoes
broccoli
cauliflower
asparagus
1 sunchoke root
2 onions
habanero peppers
2 limes
cilantro
garlic
tortilla chips

i have to go the doctor tomorrow because i might have a thyroid problem. hypothyroidism, i think it's called. so i have to go take a blood test and all that good stuff. hopefully they can figure out why i'm gaining weight like crazy all of a sudden. gah. i will ride my bike to dan's produce, and then home. then i will make the healthiest dinner of all time. :]

breh!

it's friday! get juiced :]

my mind and my brain.

my dreams repeat every night. i've been having the same dream for about a week now, and i wake up each morning feeling a little bit empty, a little bit sad, but still a little bit hopeful.

my dream? in it, you are there and we are happy. in it, everything is as new and as fresh as the first day of spring and as warm and soft as the middle of the summer. and when i wake, it is a chilly winter day again. it's so strange. and it makes me wonder why this same dream is stuck on repeat in my mind. what am i trying to tell myself?

a mind and a brain are two different things. a mind wanders, creates, dreams, explores, imagines...a brain commands. and my mind is trying to alert my brain of something...trying to get a point across, so that my brain can make a change. i just need to interpret the message.

maybe tonight i'll dream a different dream. and if it is the same dream again, maybe tonight i will figure it out.

my friend,

i am happy that you are just that - my friend. i am proud of you for standing up for what is right. i know that doing so is not always easy - but i know that doing so is always worth it. i think that you are an amazing person and i am very happy to have you in my life. for a while, i missed you a lot because i hardly ever saw you! let's not let that happen again. :]

you're pretty freakin' amazing.