i feel content this afternoon
as yesterdays water washes away with the tide
yet the old feelings remain, as fresh as bloody wounds
and the memories never did fade away

dark, cloudless nights haunt me
i had put myself in the closet and closed the door
the blue light shone upon my face
illuminating a smile, or tears, depending..

and in those days, i thought i knew
but i didn't
i wish i had but i couldn't
wrap my brain, or my fingers around
whatever that thing was
that i couldn't find in the first place

above my head and under my feet all at the same time
i trampled the very thing i was looking for
so unknowingly
so innocently
so ignortantly

regret has no meaning, so i do feel content
sometimes, though, i pause to imagine
what and where and who might i be
had i known? had i realized? had i acted on what i already actually knew?

lifes mystery will always be that
you will never know what could have been