SV

my friend,
i know that you feel helpless, lost and alone in the world. i know that every day is a struggle for you. i know that you want to be better. you want everything to be better. i know that you are in a very dark place right now and you have been for quite a while. i'd like to shine some light on a few things for you.

we don't talk as often as we used to. at one point, i considered you to be one of my best friends. we went in different directions a while back and although we still talk and we're still friendly, it's not the same. the distance is there and it's a little bit awkward. but please know that i have not given up on you or our friendship. things have just changed, and things can always get better.things will get better, i promise.

i don't know about everything in your personal life. i actually know very little. and from the little that i know, i can see that you're not in a great place. i'd like to help you, but i'm not sure how to. i hope that you read this.

you don't need drugs. please stop using them. they aren't doing anything good for you - they are doing exactly the opposite. the drugs turn you into a different person. they turn you into a person who is quiet and moody. they steal your fantastic personality and make you lifeless. if you need help quitting, and i really hope you consider it, please let me know. i will do anything to help you...as i said in a previous letter to you, "ashes to ashes, we all fall down. but i'm willing to help you back up again, and so is everyone else." i meant that. maybe that's weird coming from me...i don't know...but you're important to me.

when i was a junior in high school, my stepdad died and the worst year of my life followed his death. during that time, i was really depressed all the time. at one point, i felt like i had completely lost control over my life, my emotions, my everything. i felt like i had run into a brick wall and got stuck there...no place to hide, no place to run. i sent mr. riley an e-mail asking him for help and in his reply he told me, "you have steel in your bones. you might not feel it, but it's there. trust it." and just like i have steel in my bones, you have steel in yours. you have to trust that. you are stronger than you realize. no matter what it is that's bothering you at this time in your life, you can overcome it. and you will.

dark nights can be scary. dark times in your life can be scarier. when it's dark for you, look around and you'll see how many friends you have who are willing to help you. consider all of those friends to be night lights - we'll make the dark times a little bit brighter. you know where i live and the door is always open for you. maybe you'll read this...maybe you won't. i really hope that you do.

always,
me.