i didn't mean to hurt your feelings. sometimes, when i write, i don't think. and sometimes, when i am not thinking, i write some stuff that i don't entirely mean. they're just words. a long time ago, i said that my weapon of choice was words. not pistols or swords or lethal injections...just words. because words can save someone, just as a gun, when used properly, can save. and words can also kill. words can injure someone. and well, i never meant to cut you open with my words. and i wish that there was some word i could say to bandage that wound i made...but the only word i can come up with is "sorry". and "sorry" doesn't always heal the wound, does it? but i guess that "sorry" will have to do for now. don't worry about those words that didn't matter. i know that it's probably hard not to worry, but don't. those words came out of a bad situation...not many people understand how hard it was for me to stand next to scott's hospital bed, with him unable to move or speak, with the knowledge that he was going to die the very next day & that was the last time i'll ever see him. he wasn't my dad. and he never took your place -- no one can. but i did love him. and that was the hardest thing i've ever had to go through. and i still cry about it sometimes, and when i write about it - well, it's hard to explain. what i'm getting at here is that i love you very much, i never meant to hurt your feelings, and we'll work everything out. i am sorry.