hey there,
you deserve better than this. you need better than this. i've seen your bruises. i've heard your sobs. i've seen the tears stream down your cheeks and drip off your chin onto your helpless, tired hands. but your hands...they aren't helpless,really. you just think that they are. my english teacher told me once, "you have steel in your bones. you might not feel it, but it's there. trust it." and just as i have steel in my bones, you have steel in yours. you are so much stronger than you make yourself out to be. you are stronger than he is. maybe not physically, but stronger still. he wanders around in his drunken stupor all day long, yelling, fighting, slamming things around, hiding from the rest of the world. and i see you often, sitting on the steps, petting your cats, reading a book..facing the world with a smile, even though you have so many reasons to just sit there and cry.
and though you have all those reasons to cry, you still have a choice. you don't have to be here. you don't have to be hit one more time. you don't have to give him another chance. you don't have to see the police show up on your doorstep again. you don't have to look in the mirror and see angry black bruises staring back at you. you don't have to. you shouldn't. i know that you can do better than this. you have one chance at life. don't ruin it for yourself, please. get another job and move out. find a cheap place to live and figure some stuff out.
what you have with him is not love. it is anger. it is hatred. it is false affection, followed by terrible, very real abuse. no one deserves that. not you, and not any other woman, man or child. get out now. please. i will do everything in my power to help you, really. but you must take the first step for yourself.
love yourself, even if he doesn't.
always,
your upstairs neighbor.
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